Hello
Lovelies!
This
weekend I have found myself very much in the company of my own thoughts. I am
the queen of over-thinkers anyway, but extremely dodgy internet connection,
long country walks with Flossie and the absence of my boyfriend who’s away on a
mini break have left me in a deep thought quarantine.
Life
at the moment feels very much like one chapter has closed, and another has
begun. After finishing my exams, I quickly got an internship in social media
that has now been turned into a permanent job as a Marketing Assistant. My
anxieties about getting a job, and more importantly fitting in at that job have
suddenly flown out of the window and the pages of my life are turning over
effortlessly. I will also graduate this Friday with a 2:1, and leave education
for the first time in almost all my life behind me.
Now
with graduation comes for many of us this fear that life will ebb us towards
being someone we never wanted to be, a *deep breath now* actual grown up.
But
for me I’ve found myself not so scared of adulthood but more this chapter of my
life ending and all those memories of my childhood and teens being washed away.
I can’t fight the feeling that I’m falling down a rabbit hole and all of my
past is rushing away from me as I desperately try and grasp onto it with my
fingertips.
As
many of you know, my beautiful Shetland Sheepdog Molly passed away a few months
ago, just before I started this internship. In a way she has come to symbolise my
journey from a child to an adult. When we got Molly I was only about 10, an
anxious child about to move to my secondary school with no possible
anticipation of what life would throw at me over the years. Ever since we
brought her into our family, she was one of the most important aspects of my
life. Every time I was bored we would play, every time I was heartbroken we’d
hug for hours and every night I’d tell her I loved her. That bond you have with
your dog, is one that you can only ever understand if you’ve had a pet.
Of
course a few weeks ago, we got our new Shetland sheepdog puppy, Flossie
(Florence) Nightingale, named so because everyone asks us if we’re related to
Florence Nightingale – we’re not by the
way. Having her around has been such a joy, as any puppy is (minus the accidents
and biting) and I have found myself feeling overwhelmingly that I am leaving an
old chapter of my life behind.
I
still do of course miss Molly every day, and there is not a day that goes by
where I don’t look at photos of her and wish that she didn’t get so sick. But
for once in my life everything else has unfolded as perfectly as I could’ve
imagined. Perhaps life has realised I need a bit of a break, and decided to be
kind.*
*Note that I don’t even believe in fate, but
I still like to kind of believe it exists. Vicky Logic…
The
only place where I feel I have started to not do so well is blogging. This July
(the 15th to be exact) marked three years of blogging. THREE WHOLE
YEARS – can you quite believe that? And I’ve started to realise that I’m just
not writing half as much as I used to. A lot of my effort has gone into
Instagram, but I think it’s time to go back to writing more and getting
inspired. I have fallen into the trap of feeling like everything I write is pointless, but it's time I got back my passion.
My
final thought I’ll leave you with is that what we learn from life is that it is
hardly ever plain sailing, and lord knows we’re lucky if we know the
destination. If you’re struggling, know that the solution is only on the
horizon, and that most of the time things don’t turn out how we expect but
that’s totally ok.
Have a great weekend lovelies! Love Vicky x
Sounds like you're stuck in life transition if that makes any sense. Life has been good to you, Vicky and while it's hard to let what had been go, you need to embrace the future and now with open arms. I also noticed that you haven't been as active in the blogsphere but on the other hand, your IG game is really amazing. I think we all struggle to find the perfect balance between running a blog and social media accounts...I know I do too.
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It's good to hear about the latest from you! I've been away for a while and I've certainly missed a LOT! sorry to hear about your dog and I hope you find your blogging mojo back. I agree with Shireen above, blogging and keeping up with social media is really hard.
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