Sunday, 3 January 2016

The Single Girl Diaries | I Challenged Myself To Tinder For A Month


Hello Lovelies! If there was ever anything I learnt from single life, it's that I hate Tinder. Hate admittedly is a strong word, but it sums up my feelings towards the app perfectly. Me and Tinder have had a pretty on-off relationship. We met for the first time out of curiosity, then again desperately after a breakup, and then got back together one last time out of sheer loneliness. And that one last time, I vowed it would be the last. I'd met a guy there who'd messed me around, and it was the final straw. From that day onward, I would never use Tinder AGAIN. But then clever ol' me came up with a plan. I'd challenge myself to Tinder for a month, and share all the hilarity with you on my blog. After all how can you get hurt if you're just using the app as a joke for the sake of 'journalism'? It all seemed like one amazing plan, there was just one problem, I only lasted a week... So sit down, grab a cup of tea and I'll tell you a Tinder tale. 

It all started typically enough, with a plethora of frustrating conversations. One of the things you have to understand is that in the land of Tinder, the chosen language is ambiguity so being on the same page as someone is a matter of legend. 99% of the time you'll start with small talk, and usually this will end with either more small talk or a rather shady proposal. And, No, even a hotel room at Travel Lodge doesn't make me want to sleep with you, thanks for trying though. But after lots of swiping, you do occasionally find some gems. The majority of the guys would ask me if I like Sushi (you know because I study Japanese) and after hearing that I did were surprisingly pleased. I seemed to attract all the guys with wanderlust who cared more about hearing about Japan than about me! See, I'm just constantly outshone by my degree #firstworldproblems.

There was also the guy who asked me to be his Christmas present, which hey I appreciated because I love Christmas but then he followed it with 'oi nudes' and I realised it was never meant to be...

And then there were the messages I read out of context: 'I beat my girlfriend one time and she never talked to me again.'




Don't worry, he was only referring to Mario Kart. Phew.

But one of my favourite people I met on Tinder was Mac and Cheese Guy (named so because he makes a good Mac and Cheese, he didn't like the nickname though...). He was one of those rare Tinder guys who makes it all worth it. He had an abundance of banter, and was willing to mock the whole process. I confided with him that I was writing this article, so if you ever do stumble across it Mac and Cheese guy, let me know.

But you're probably wondering, did anything else come from Tinder apart from repetitive strain injury from constant swiping and small talk about Japan? Well there was one thing that changed it all.

I met Tinder Darcy

I met Tinder Darcy one evening and we just hit it off. We talked first on Tinder, then he smoothly explained his Tinder wasn't working so within less than an hour he already had my number. Sometimes guys are just annoyingly smooth like that, and it's always so fishy. As you might have guessed, the conversation continued and continued and we found ourselves sleep deprived at 6.30 am finally calling it a night. It was one of those rare life moments, when you find yourself talking to someone and just have a spark. 

When I woke up the cycle continued and we talked till you guessed it 6.30 am all over again. And by this point I was wondering what the hell I was doing with my life, but I just couldn't help that I got on so well with this guy. I wasn't looking for anything, just some cringey messages I could relay in an article later but Tinder Darcy started to make me rethink everything. I certainly wasn't going to jump into a relationship no thank you, but Tinder Darcy was starting to make me want to because I was simply loving talking to him. By this point also, I hadn't looked at Tinder since I met him. I was REALLY in trouble. 


Anyway the next night Tinder Darcy was at a party, so I found myself alone for a few hours because apparently I have nothing to do with my life. When you're waiting for a text from someone, it suddenly feels like your whole world revolves around that and it is honestly one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. But sure enough later he messaged me apologising for when he hadn't messaged me, because apparently playing it cool is a thing of the past and Drunk Tinder Darcy suggested we phone each other. This was the big test, would we get on over the phone or were we just really good at texting? Nervously I picked up the phone, and as if by magic it all felt natural. It was weird, I felt like I was talking to an old friend, albeit an old friend I really fancied. 

I started telling him my insecurities. Like how I seem to have a billion phobias (like seriously, scaredy cat right here) and everyone thinks I'm pathetic and how I have a ridiculous obsession with Hello Kitty and everyone seems to judge me. It was like I had a checklist of possible reasons why he wouldn't like me, and I needed to check every single one. But unlike most people he seemed to understand, and for once someone actually made me feel a little more normal. Perhaps I'm just used to the men in my life putting me down, but this really struck me. He just made me feel comfortable with who I am and sadly enough that is a rare thing in my love life. We ended up telling each other we liked each other over the phone, and it was honestly just really cute. Now considering me and Tinder Darcy's track record, it will probably come as no surprise we stayed up till 8am talking. Yes that's right 8am! And the best part? Guess who had to wake up at 8am... 


So fast forwarding past the sleep deprived day where we of course continued talking, and another very similar day we get to the day where we both finally met. *Cue dramatic music* We met at a station near me at about 6 which is honestly an awful idea. Watching so many people leave a train station is mind numbing. They all start to look like the person you're waiting for, and it just makes you feel incredibly awkward. But he did arrive eventually, only half an hour late (not still bitter about that part, I promise). 

And you guessed it, from the get go we got on, even if there was a lot of nervous giggling from yours truly. I could hardly even look him in the face I was so flustered. We went to Starbucks which is my favourite place in the world, and ended up snuggling and being completely judged by everyone else there. And honestly it was weird because I couldn't really comprehend why or how I felt so comfortable around this guy. I just did and it felt so weirdly natural. We left Starbucks after getting kicked out at 10pm and we wandered around holding hands and it was really nice. But from this point it all spectacularly fell apart. 

Sorry to disappoint anyone who was rooting for Tinder Darcy. 

To cut a very long story short, he wasn't looking for anything serious, most likely because of his recent breakup. So it ended all just like that and the girl who had already deleted her tinder account felt just that little bit stupid. But hey, can you really blame me?

And you know what? Deep down I still miss him, and yes there's still a part of me that wishes he would change his mind. Not because I want a boyfriend, because honestly I don't want one anymore, it's just because I want him. I just miss talking to him. But I don't blame him, because I understand completely. I've been at the point he's at now, I just wish he'd taken a chance on me because it could have been something amazing. But at the same time, it's his loss (even if I don't really believe it). Maybe this was my opportunity to realise my own worth and actually start recognising that I have something to offer. Here's to having girl power. After all, what's so wrong with being single anyway? 


And so just like that The Single Girl Diaries were born.

Thought of the day: 'But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.' - Carrie Bradshaw

Man crush: Benedict Cumberbatch because SHERLOCK. The latest New Year ep has definitely rekindled my obsession. If you don't love a bit of Batch something is wrong with you and if you haven't seen Sherlock WATCH IT NOW.

Perk of being single: Being able to trial dating apps/sites for the lols. Not that I want to, but at least I have the option!

Thank you for reading lovelies! Seeing as I had such a positive response to my first The Single Girl Diaries post, you can now join me on the journey of a hopeless romantic with an even more hopeless love life every Sunday, 12pm GMT. 

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53 comments

  1. Great honest, real post. Thank you.

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  2. I've never used Tinder but have done a lot of internet dating and the key is numbers. There are literally hundreds that message ya that don't fit the bill and then a bunch of disappointments like Tinder Darcy but then eventually, someone awesome comes along that makes it all worthwhile.

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    1. Yeah, I would definitely agree with this even if I haven't had much luck! It's all down to sticking with it and eventually you'll find someone right for you!

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  3. This story had it all, humour, loss and love (sort of)! I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years so have never tried tinder, it's always been something we've both been intrigued by though! I'm looking forward to the rest of this series :)

    Megan x
    London Callings

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    1. Haha well you are definitely not missing out as far as the Tinder thing goes! And aww glad you enjoyed it lovely :) x

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  4. I've never used tinder as I have a boyfriend but have always wondered what it's really like. Tinder Darcy sounds awesome, such a shame he isn't ready for anything more yet but you never know.

    Kristy | thevioletblonde.com

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    1. Haha well from my experience Tinder is pretty depressing! Well it didn't work out but I think that was for a reason :) Thanks for the comment lovely!

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  5. I honestly cannot stop laughing, this post, this idea is absolutely genius! You really made my day and made me giggle. Mac and cheese guy! Tinder Darcy! Oh my gosh YOU my dear are the absolute gem hehe. What a fun and wonderful post! xxxxx

    www.romantiquely.com

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    1. Awww thank you so much lovely! This comment made me really smile :) xxx

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  6. This is such a great post, a really entertaining read! Tinder's such a Marmite kind of app, I went from meeting my then-bf on it/loving it to hating it because the pickings are so slim! Some guys really don't know how to present themselves on there, it's hilarious.

    Tore | www.atinymew.com xo

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    1. Haha yeah Tinder really is quite hilarious, because some of the things guys end up saying there are great. And aww thank you Tore! x

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  7. This post was very well written Victoria! Well done. It made me so sad that it just ended so abruptly. Would you not try to be friends. I have used tinder before and I mainly get stupid messages or pick up lines. But I've been in a relationship for two years and never take it seriously.

    Ellen,
    http://fishnetsxd.blogspot.ie

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    1. Aww thank you Ellen! Yeah it is a shame, but I think it turned out for the best. And yeah I have never taken Tinder very seriously at all!

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  8. Aw i loved reading this! I go through phases where I use tinder and don't aswel, most of the guys on their just don't make conversation and it dies or they as you said are not looking for anything serious.

    Shelise xx | SHELISES WORLD

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    1. Thanks Shelise! Yeah it is definitely a depressing place if you're actually looking for something - very hard to find it!

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  9. This is awesome! I had some tinder experiences myself, found some Darcys and lots of Wickhams and even one or two Mr. Collins. and guess what? I'm still single!

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    1. Aww haha you win so many points with me for using Austen references, love it! x

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  10. Omgosh, I thought I was the only one who'd found a Tinder Darcy! You always hear nightmare stories but never these surprise, it-might-just stories. Loved reading this! xx

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    1. Aww yeah I was surprised myself at the time when it happened!

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  11. tinder darcy was so good! why did he have to act like that! haha men... Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥

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    1. Haha nothing more can be said than that... Ah men!

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  12. One of my fave posts ever!!! This was so entertaining to read, I loved it and deffo rooted for tinder Darcy!!! XXXX
    Becky Shannon xx - Life-by-Becky

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  13. This made me laugh! Personally haven't had much luck with Tinder (though I could tell you some stories...) but I have heard of a fair few successes! And being single is fun, enjoy it!

    Kirsty x
    onpeoplewatch.com

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    1. Haha I don't think many people have had success with Tinder, although that said I know a lot of couples who've come from there!

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  14. People say long blog posts are a no no, but I honestly loved reading this! Hilarious and really gripping. Can't wait for more!

    http://wanderingsofalostsoul1.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Awww thank you so much, that means a lot :)

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  15. Ohhh Tinder Darcy! I was really rooting for you guys! Oh well, there will be someone who realises you are worth sticking with. I used Tinder for a while, had a few dates, then met my now boyfriend by my friends just friendly abusing him over the app (he took it on the chin and gave the abuse back cos he's a weird egg).. and I'm so so glad I used Tinder now. You never know!

    Saskia / girlinbrogues.com

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    1. Haha I genuinely thought I'd replied to this earlier, whoops! Aww you and your boyfriend are adorable, nice to know you actually found success on Tinder :)

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  16. This was such a great and honest post!
    I loved reading it!

    Rambling Makeup

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  17. I really loved reading this, I was so gripped by it, and I somehow also feel a bit silly routing for Tinder Darcy. But I totally understand where you're coming from, and it's definitely his loss! I'm glad you can see the positive in the situation and that you wrote this post. I had a bad experience using Tinder. Not with the one guy I met, but with this one guy who I felt really intimidated by. It wasn't nice. He's now blocked - yay! I'll definitely be back to read more of your stories every Sunday!
    ~Gail www.sherbet-aurora.co.uk

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    1. Aww well I think everyone has had their Tinder nightmares, that's for sure! And haha yes, well I'm glad that I could convey that because I felt really silly when it ended haha :)

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  18. Damn it I really though you and Mr Tinder Darcy would go on many dates etc.and become more than friends. never mind...its his lost !!! I am not single but when I was I would very often met guys a bit like him and then find out that they 'don't want to be in a relationship' blablabla...(which use to very annoy me )because of a bad break up but I always wonder what the hell they are on dating web sites then?? Men are strange sometimes. I am lucky enough to never have use Tinder ( I used sites such as Plenty of fish etc) but I am glad I don't have to as I know I would hate that app.
    Anyway nothing wrong being single. and you are only 19 so give yourself a chance ! I am in my 30's so I have a bit more experiences.

    http://allornothing-blog.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Yeah definitely happy being single at the moment, so I'm actually pretty happy with how this all turned out! :)

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  19. Ahh mayn. I was SO hoping that this would have a happy ending for you and Tinder Darcy but hey, HIS loss I reckon.

    Anyway this was brilliantly written and had me hooked on every word.

    xx

    www.kirstytalks.co.uk

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  20. Argh! I was rooting for you both! But what a brilliant post, Vicky, you made me laugh and then felt a little disappointed because it didn't work out. This has to be one of your best written post and I look forward to the next one!

    Reflection of Sanity | StayLean Tea Australia Giveaway

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    1. Haha warning Shireen, going through old posts and replying to comments I never answered so you may get a few notifications haha! Thanks :)

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  21. Absolutely loved reading this post! Reminded me so much of my experiences on Tinder!
    I met my wonderful "Tinder Darcy" boyfriend through the app and we've been together nearly a year and half now.
    It really is like finding a needle in a hay stack though, I just got extremely lucky!!

    Kim
    www.kimradley.com

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    1. Awww lucky you - I'm actually so surprised at the number of couples who have actually formed through Tinder! :)

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  22. This was SUCH a great post, Vicky, and I was hooked! So disappointing that it didn't work out, I was rooting for you the whole post! Still, I'm just amazed that you found somebody with potential on Tinder! I've never used it, but I've heard all of the horror stories from my friends! So looking forward to reading more posts like this from you, lovely! x

    Martha Jane | www.marthajanemusic.com

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    1. Haha well surprisingly so many couples have formed from Tinder so obviously there are some good people on there haha. And thank you so much Martha :) x

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  23. Love this post, so honest. Aww girl it's his loss. Being single isn't bad, enjoy while you can. Looking forward to more.
    Itsdivadiaries.com

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    1. Aww thank you and haha I like to think so!

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  24. Loove this post Vicky! Sucks it didnt work out with you and Tinder Darcy, maybe in another lifetime hey? But being single is fun! Though it's understandable to feel lonely sometimes, I guess with a cute series like this way singletons can relate, look forward to reading more!

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    1. Aww thank you and yes I know it was a shame haha, but obviously not meant to be! Being single is fun though!

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  25. Oh, Tinder Darcy is definitely losing out! Man, I've tried Tinder and I've spoken to a couple of normal-sounding guys, but I've also had the 'Netflix and chill?' chat-up line and honestly, that just put me off haha. I'm so glad I found your blog and this series because I can relate so much right now.

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    1. Haha surprisingly I never got the Netflix and Chill line which is frankly a surprise! Aww glad you can relate girlie! x

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  26. Love your honesty & humour. Being in a same sex relationship that started because of Tinder I find it fascinating how others Tinder journeys go.
    Tindr Darcy sounded too good to be true.

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    1. Aww thank you and yay, that's awesome! Another Tinder couple!

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  27. Nice discussion here, you are doing a great job. i was looking for this information. i found it on your page it's really amazing. Get Tinder apps

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